I had a really beautiful plan in my head (an internship at Mavuno Church which would help to launch a ministry that would, eventually, spread across the continent, eradicating human trafficking and child prostitution in Africa) and assumed He would say, "Yep. That's it."
But we all know that's not how it works.
Instead, I arrived in Nairobi, ready to meet with the director of interns at Mavuno Church. I had expected to have a brief conversation and then hear him say, "Oh, we've been waiting to start something like this, but didn't know where to begin." (Not that I have all of the answers, mind you. But God is a big God...)
But that wasn't what he said.
I assumed I had misheard God. I assumed that the internship was still the next step, but that I had been prepared to hear something that had been born from my hopes, not from God's voice. So I moved forward with those conversations, but never really found peace with the thought of that next step. Still, I continued to shrug-off those feelings, attributing them to the fact that, if I were to live in Kenya, I would ultimately want to live in Kitale...but continued to feel like that was selfish; I should want to be where God wants and I could sacrifice and live in Nairobi...it's still the same country!
But then I was quiet.
Long enough to hear God.
(what follows is the Reader's Digest version of a 2-week conversation between me and God...little future plans...beautiful resolution. This may not mean anything to you. If that's frustrating or confusing, then I'm sorry. But I had to write this down...all the better to remember the journey.)
The internship is not the next step.
--Well, then what is?
Be present where I have you, for now.
Do not be counting down the days until you get to be somewhere else.
--But wait...what does that mean?
You have things to learn before you can take these next steps...
--But what if I learn them quickly? Wait. Does this mean I'll never be in Kenya?
Stop. Trust me.
As you are faithful to me, I will be faithful to you.
I have no idea what's next.
But I am really enjoying the constant signs of God's faithfulness.